From Minus One (1963), No. 26, August 1970. This thievery from Wikipedia gives the uninitiated some background:

Gregory Hill (21 May 1941 – 20 July 2000), better known by the pen name Malaclypse the Younger, was one of the two writers of the Principia Discordia, along with Kerry Wendell Thornley (aka Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst). He was also adapted as a character in The Illuminatus! Trilogy. During the early years of circulation of the Principia Discordia, rumors claimed that the author of the book was Richard Nixon, Timothy Leary, or Robert Anton Wilson; or that the book and Malaclypse the Younger were both fictional inventions of Robert Anton Wilson, as with Abdul Alhazred’s Necronomicon.

DEFINITIONS

by Malaclypse the Younger, K.S.C.

Egotists are a pain in the ass, yet some self—centred individuals are resolutely not. How come this anomaly? Language…..capital L Language. And in as much as it is my Language, I herewith offer up for grabs a few distinctions that I find useful:

EGO is my “me”.

EGOCENTRICITY is that I relate my experience to myself, resulting in the psychologically inescapable fact that it is I who am doing the experiencing.

EGOISM is when I tell others that being consciously aware of one’s selfhood is a gas.

BENEVOLENCE is when you like other people too.

EGOTISM is that bastard who tries to impose his self on mine.

ALTRUISM is when somebody tries to pretend to be everybody else.

SELFISHNESS is when somebody forgets that he is not alone.

The EGOTISTIC ALTRUIST says: “I am the centre of the Universe, and hence know better than you about your welfare, and you had damn well better thank me for it.”

The BENEVOLENT EGOIST says: “I am the centre of my universe, and if you’re not the centre of yours then you’re missing the point.”